How to write open when letters
By Luan Alves · Updated
To write open when letters, pick three to eight moments you won’t be there for, then write one short letter for each. Put the moment on the outside, like “Open when you can’t sleep”, and inside say their name, name the moment, share one memory and end with one small promise. Here’s each step, with the mistakes to avoid.
How to write them, in 6 steps
Pick the moments
List the moments you won’t be there for: a bad day, a sleepless night, a birthday, the first night apart. Pick the ones that will actually happen while you’re apart. Each moment becomes one letter.
Decide how many
Three to eight is the sweet spot. Fewer feels thin, and past eight the letters start to sound alike. For a short trip, three is plenty. For months apart, write closer to eight.
Write the title on the outside
Start each one with “Open when…” or “For when…”, then the moment, like “For when you can’t sleep”. Keep it short enough to read at a glance. That title is how they’ll choose which one to open.
Write a short letter inside
Aim for 50 to 150 words. Say their name, name the moment, share one specific memory and end with one small promise or thing to do. One memory, told in detail, beats five listed quickly.
Add something they can see or hear
A photo from a day you both remember, or a short voice note. Voice matters most in the letters for lonely moments, like a sleepless night or missing you.
Seal them and set the rules
Agree on the rules: one letter per moment, and no peeking at the dated ones. For paper, seal each envelope and label it. For digital, set the dated letters to open on their day.
A short example
Here’s one letter that follows the steps. It’s about 50 words: the name, the moment, one memory and one promise.
For when you can’t sleep
Maya, it’s late, so this one’s short. Remember the night we missed the last ferry and sat on the pier until two? Think about that. The water, the cold, your terrible singing. Breathe in for four, out for six. Then put the phone face down. Call me tomorrow. I’ll pick up.
Mistakes to avoid
Writing a speech.
Long letters get skimmed. Short ones get reread.
Using the same memory twice.
Plan the memories before you write, one per letter.
Promising what you can’t keep.
“I’ll call every night” hurts the first night you can’t. Promise the small things.
Tying letters to dates that can move.
“See you on the 12th” breaks if the trip moves. Say “see you soon” in the letter, and only date the letters for fixed days.
Writing them all the night before.
By letter six, you’re tired and it shows. Write two a night over a few days.
Paper or digital?
Paper is the classic: envelopes in a box, handed over before you leave. It’s a keepsake you can hold, but it has to travel with them, and it can’t hold your voice. A digital set can hold photos and voice notes, reach them anywhere and open on a set date. Pick the one that fits how far apart you’ll be.
Paper, free tools and ForWhen, comparedWhat to say in a voice noteWrite yours with a little help
ForWhen walks you through these steps: pick the moments, get ideas as you write, add a photo and your voice, and send one private link. $9.99 once, no app.
Start writing