Open when letters before a deployment
By Luan Alves · Updated
The weeks before a deployment are the best time to write open when letters, because once you leave, signal and free time get scarce. Write for the moments the people at home will face without you, like the first night, a sick kid or a birthday you’ll miss, and record your voice while you still have a quiet room.
The letters to write in the weeks before you leave
Write these for the people staying home: a partner, a parent, your kids. Their phones have steady signal, so the letters will be there when they need them.
For our first night apart
The house feels different that first night. Tell them what you’d be doing if you were there.
For when you miss me
Give them one small, real thing you miss, and one plan for homecoming.
For when you haven’t heard from me
Silence is the hardest part. Tell them, in your words, that quiet days are normal.
For when something breaks
The car, the sink, a rough week. Remind them they can handle it, and who to call.
For when the kids miss me
Write it to be read out loud at bedtime, and record it so they hear you.
For your birthday
Set it to open on the day, so it arrives on time even if you can’t call.
For our anniversary
Same as the birthday. Date it, and it stays sealed until the day comes.
For homecoming day
The last letter. Short, giddy and full of plans.
What to keep in mind before you write
A few things are different when the letters are for a deployment.
Leave out anything about where and when.
No locations, movement dates or unit details, the same rule as social media. Your unit will brief you on what’s off-limits.
Avoid promises about timing.
Return dates move. Write “see you at homecoming”, not a date, and date the homecoming letter only once you’re sure.
Record your voice before you go.
A quiet room, a phone close to your mouth and 30 seconds per letter. Your kids will play the bedtime one again and again.
Write the heavy one only if you want to.
Some people write a letter to be opened “if something happens”. That belongs with your will and your family, not in a gift link.
Spread the writing out.
Pre-deployment weeks are busy. Write one letter a night for a week instead of all eight the night before you leave.
Questions
- Can I write them for my partner if they’re the one deploying?
- You can, but a deployed phone may have little or no signal, and the letters need internet to open. Paper letters and care packages often work better in that direction. Military OneSource has free guidance on staying in touch during a deployment.
- How many letters should I write before a deployment?
- Five to eight covers the moments that come up most. Dated letters for birthdays and anniversaries stay sealed until the day, so they keep for months.
- Can I change a letter after I leave?
- In ForWhen, yes, from your edit link, as long as that letter hasn’t been opened yet. Once it’s opened, it stays as it was read.
Keep reading
Write them in your own voice
With ForWhen, you write 3–8 letters, add a photo and a voice note to each, and send them as one private link they open on their phone. Letters for a date stay sealed until the day comes. $9.99 once, no app.
Start writing